Panchakarma and Tulsi puja

I've had the panchakarma treatments for 7 days now.  The ayurvedic massage is much more of an oil bath with some massage.  I think the concept is to get as much oil into the skin as possible, so they basically spend about and hour or so pouring warm medicated oils on my head and body.  That part is nice.  Because of all the oil, the tables are either hard plastic or wood, so that's not comfortable.  I was on a plastic table every time.  I guess it might not be so uncomfortable for everybody, but my joints are very bony so that's what was uncomfortable.  So far, my skin feels really good and I'm surviving without tea.  I'm actually doing much better than I expected to be with no tea in the mornings.  That's a big plus.

A few days ago our nephews told us about a science fair at the hotel right by the flat.  We went with them and looked around at everything for a while.  It was really interesting.  There were several groups there that had made all natural perfumes from flowers and herbs and spices.  There were also exhibits on hydrolics, green house farming, robotics and geology.  Jasmine had a good time looking around.  The kids were very enthusiastic and we were impressed with the quality of the projects.  They also had a little stage show with lazer lights and aliens.  I didn't totally understand it but I think it was just to show off the lazer light technology and cool alien costumes for the kids.

My oldest brother in law, Vishu, took a short trip to Kashi (Hindu holy place).  He took some of Papa's ashes as a fulfillment of his and Papa's wishes. I think that's such a wonderful thing to do. 

A couple of days ago there was a function at my MIL's family house.  It's an annual event for the tulsi plant at the house.  I know for some of you are not familiar with Hindu or other nature based religions may find that odd, but it was pretty cool.  This plant, tulsi, is considered sacred here and it represents a goddess.  The tulsi plant is considered so useful that it can fill any need you have.  Some of you may have seen tulsi tea in the health/natural food stores, so you know it has medicinal qualities.  So, once a year the male family members are expected to go to the family house and do this puja.  The plant lives in a permanent concrete pedestal in the front yard.  This is decorated with flower garlands and little oil lamps called "diyas."  It looks so pretty when it's all lit up.  Then, a priest comes to the house and does the actual puja as far as doing the prayers and all, and the family follows.  Jasmine had some fireworks left from what we got for Divali, so they lit them at the appropriate time near the end of the puja. It's quite nice.  It happens on the night of full moon and is connected with a procession of the gods from a nearby temple.  We did the tulsi puja at the house at around 7:00pm and sometime around midnight the procession came to our street.  They take the sliver and gold statues of the gods out of the temples and walk through the town with them.  The one that came to our house was a huge silver goddess.  We had diyas and oil lamps lit in front of the house and a place set up for the priests to sit the platform on, so they stopped there and did a small blessing.  Of course we give money for each of the pujas, so there is an exchange.  (Kind of like giving your offering in church in the Christian tradition.)   At the end of each of the pujas the priest waves a metal plate with an oil wick fire on it around and we pass our hands over it and then touch our heads, that is taking the blessings.  They also give paste of sandalwood and another red colored paste that comes from the temple and that's what you put on your forehead.  After we took the blessings they took the goddess on the platform and went back down the street.  Just a few minutes later the gold statue met up with the silver one down the street and the guys who had been carrying them around for hours on the platforms on their shoulders stopped and ate.  We had followed the procession, not knowing they were meeting up to take their break, and ended up standing there when they started to get out all the food, etc.  Our cousin who was with us knows some of the local priests so they invited him to sit down with them, which was a very kind gesture, but we didn't because it was they who had worked hard and earned the food.  So we walked back to the house and cleaned up the ritual items, leaving the little diyas out for the gods, and went to bed.  (Most of us had been asleep before the procession came.)  It was just my MIL, two brother in laws (Vishal and Anu), me, Jasmine, our cousin Satish (who had arranged everything), his wife and son.  Then we drove back very early the next morning.

The roads here are so bad that it usually takes a long time to get anywhere, especially in the cities.  There is so much traffic and the traffic laws aren't as rigidly enforced here so it's always very chaotic.  Going to the house took about 45 minutes, I think.  Coming home, when nobody was out on the roads yet, I think it took us about 20  or 25 minutes.  Really, the driving situation here is so bad, it's a wonder people ever get anywhere when they are driving.  But, I've got to tell you, I am so impressed with the skills of the drivers.  It's like they all have some mental connection so everybody knows where everybody else is at all times.  There is so much weaving in and out, passing, and honking going on.  But, everyone stops when they need to, and goes when they need to, and I've only seen one incident since I got here.   This poor lady carrying a big basket of fish was hit by a car.  I didn't actually see her get hit, but when we passed by her fish were scattered all over the road and she was clutching her back and having what looked like an unpleasant conversation with the driver.  But, that's the only time I've seen anything like that happen.  There is a pretty big campaign here to widen the main roads which is a good thing, but at the cost of a lot of beautiful trees in some places.  I guess there's always a price for progress.

I think that's enough info to digest at once for now. ;-)  I'll try to get some pics uploaded soon.  I can't access the wifi with my phone here so it's taking a little longer.  Soon though.

Ayurveda

For those who don't know, Ayurveda is a system of traditional medicine and lifestyle management developed in India over 3,500 years ago.  It is still widely practiced here and is used as a form of "complimentary medicine" in western culture. 

I had an appointment with an Ayurvedic doctor at the Ayurvedic college here in Udupi earlier today.  The good news is that his prescription for me for was a 1/12 - 2 hour Ayurvedic massage every day for 7 days.  Yay!  More good news is that he confirmed that I should not eat spicy foods like chilis, or bitter foods, which I don't care for anyway.  The not so good part of the prescription is that I can't have any cold foods, fried foods or soy products.  Since it's still miserably hot here, I am a southern girl, and I use soy milk for my masala chai to wake me up every morning, this part is going to be challenging.  I'm looking forward to the treatments, though, and to seeing how it affects my energy level in the end.  My first massage appointment is at 9:00am tomorrow.  I'll blog about it afterwords. 

In the mean time, Vikas was successful in arranging daily harmonium lessons for Jasmine. :-)  The teacher's shop is just a short walk from the flat so that is an added bonus.  Jasmine hasn't been getting enough exercise since we got here. It's way too hot to put her in dance classes during the day and all the other kids are in school, so a daily walk will be a great addition for her. 

Family is doing well.  I think my MIL is more at ease since she's back to a somewhat normal daily routine.  She made this crazy yummy dosas this morning that are made from a batter of fermented rice flour and coconut.  I want to learn to make them but I don't know if I'll be able to make them at home because they have to be cooked on a special clay pan.  I'll have to see what I can do about getting one.  Maybe I can get one at one of the Indian grocery stores in Atlanta.  Hmmm.

That's it for now.  I have to see what I can drink to get me through the afternoon since I can't have masala chai or a cold cola.

Recovery

Well, Vikas's fever finally broke after 5 days.  The three of us have passed around this yucky virus ever since we got here.  I'm relieved that it wasn't malaria.  It's a bit concerning being in a place where malaria is still prevalent.  So far so good, though. 

Now that things have settled down a bit we've been trying to get into a routine with Jasmine's school stuff.  It's a challenge since I have a hard time sticking to routines.  I tend to rest when my body tells me to and get things done when I have the energy, and that doesn't happen on a schedule, unfortunately.  I think we're doing OK, though.  Journal writing, math and flute practice are happening pretty regularly.  We're also in the process of arranging music lessons and hopefully dance lessons for her.  We're supposed to go to a musical instrument shop this afternoon to take a look at all the Indian instruments they have.  She wants to get a harmonium since she found out that her Ajji (grandmother) played one.  And if she's got a passion for something we want to support it because there are always learning opportunities when you're interested in something. 


We're planning to do some traveling soon.  Calcutta, Bangalore and Rajasthan are all on the agenda.  We have family to visit in Calcutta and Bangalore, and I'm teaching and taking classes at Colleena Shakti's School in January.  I'm looking forward to seeing more of India.  I've been to Rajasthan before but not to Calcutta and Bangalore.  I'll be sure to take lots of pics.

Muggles, The Dark Lord and Magic in India

Muggles:  All of you with children know how the kids of today hate to be called "muggles" since the Harry Potter series exploded in popularity, right?  Well, a few years ago when we started reading the books as a family Jasmine was very dismayed to find out that she is absolutely, positively, 100% muggle.  Unfortunately for her, in her father's language "muggle" means daughter so she's been referred to as a muggle non-stop for the past couple of weeks.  Poor girl.

The Dark Lord:  Well, not a "Dark Lord" actually, but a really bad guy.  Right now is Diwali time in India.  "Also known as Deepavali and Divali."  This is the festival of lights that celebrates the victory of good over evil.  There are several versions of the story, but a good short one is that Lord Ram, a version of Vishnu, defeated a very bad guy named Ravana and returned home.  Upon his return he was greeted with lamps and lights and lots of celebration.  Indian's love to celebrate Diwali.  There is traditional eating of sweets, wearing of new clothes, gift giving, and LOTS of firecrackers and sparklers.  It actually last for 3 days but we couldn't really start celebrating until today since we were still officially in mourning until today.  However, Jasmine went down to the courtyard last night where some of the children from the building shared some of their sparklers with her.  She really had a good time.  We're hoping to get some fireworks for tonight's celebration.

Magic: Yesterday (Nov 5) was the final, final day of ceremonies and rituals related to my father-in-law's passing.  The previous day there was a function at Vikas's mom's family house with a small ceremony and a lunch.  It seems that almost 300 people were there, just like the one a few days ago.  I, unfortunately, wasn't able to attend that one because I woke up sick.  (We've been passing around a yucky virus.)  Yesterday there was an additional ritual based on the fact that Vikas's dad passed away at an "un-auspicious" or bad time.  The priests believed that because of the way the stars were aligned at the time of his death, there was a chance that 3 more people close to the family might die.  So, yesterday was spent doing special rituals to insure the safety of the family and also the final peaceful send off for dad.  There was lots of fire and rice involved.  The 4 brothers and the sister all had to sit with the priests while they chanted mantras and did rituals.  There was rangoli (making of elaborate designs with rice powder on the floor), rice throwing, water drinking and lots of fire.  Vikas said the priests were explaining that death is imminent for all living things and how god exists in all living things.  He said they needed to make an offering to send up, but most things are pulled down by gravity.  Fire, on the other hand, defies gravity and goes up, so that was the medium for the offerings.  There were several times when everyone there had to walk around the fire and make offerings of rice or flowers, and at one or two points everyone was supposed to repeat some sanskrit phrases, but I didn't have any idea what they were saying so I just stood there with my hands folded in prayer position.  The most important part of the ritual is called the "pind-daan."  This would have had to happen regardless of the time of his death.  For this part, the 2nd son, Vishal, had to make a mixture of black sesame seeds and rice flour that was shaped into a ball, then everyone prayed over it and put a rice offering on it.  After all those rituals were performed, the brothers and sister (plus Jasmine) had to walk barefoot to the beach 1.5 kilometers away to throw his remaining ashes into the ocean.  The "pind-daan" mixture had to be submerged in the sea.  After that they had to face south and dip themselves under the water 3 times each, turn their backs to the sea and throw the clay pot containing the remains backwards over their heads.  Lastly, the coconut from the rituals was dipped 3 times into the ocean. That coconut was brought home and tied to a Jackfruit Tree and later served as part of the dinner. It was interesting to watch.  The brothers all had to wear white "lungis" which is the traditional cloth that men wear. So, with their shaved heads and lungis they looked like hindu monks wading out into the ocean.  Finally, last night we had to place a serving of food on a banana leaf for dad again before we could eat.  After that meal, all the rituals were complete.  That means that the fasting from fried foods is over, MIL can go back to cooking in the kitchen, and everyone is safe.

The beach yesterday was beautiful.  The sand was so white, and there were obviously lots of coconut trees so it was quite nice.  We plan to go back soon for a fun visit.  Jasmine wanted to play in the water so badly.  Vikas finally let her wade in in her new clothes but they could only stay for a couple of minutes.  We look forward to going back. 

Land of Contradictions

If I had to choose one phrase to describe India it would definitely be "a land of contradictions."  That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does keep things interesting.  I think it was the last time I was here that Will Smith was in India and was quoted in the paper as saying, "Anything that is true in India, the opposite is also true."  Here are some examples of what I mean:

• My MIL's house has marble floors and granite counter tops, but no air conditioning.

• I can have a weeks worth of clothes dry-cleaned for $2.50 but a washing machine is very pricey.

• You see a beautiful Indian woman impeccably dressed in a gorgeous sari, perfect makeup and hair swept up into a stunning up-do.....  riding on the back of a scooter with a child in her lap, a husband driving and another child standing in front of the husband, weaving in and out of buses, cars and bikes.

• Vikas calls a shop at 9:00 am the other day and asks "Are you open?"  "Yes," the person says.  "What are your hours?"  "10:00 - 6:00" is the reply.  "So I can come in now?"  "No! We're open from 10:00 - 6:00."   sigh.....

• You're expected to make a full breakfast for the entire family BEFORE you have your tea in the morning.  That one doesn't need explaining does it?  (Fortunately my family is not unreasonable and there's someone else here doing most of the cooking for a few days.)

India always keeps me guessing.  I guess maybe that's why some of the smartest people in technology and medicine are coming out of India.  You have to be able to hold two conflicting beliefs in your head at all times in order to function here, and you have to be willing to think outside the box and go with the flow.  That's also why a visit to India is always a life-changing experience.  Everyone who's ever visited here says the same thing.  It definitely forces you to grow.

I'm grateful that we are here to spend time with Vikas's family and for Jasmine to have the experience of living in India for a while.  I know that this is the best education we can give her right now.

Traditions

The day before yesterday was the 13th day since my father-in-law's death.  There are several days that have special significance and that was one of them.  The four sons were required to go to his "native place" (the house where he grew up) and perform some rituals.  In a strange coincidence, the 13th day fell on October 31st.  The strange thing about it is that one of the rituals involves the father's family feeding the sons pumpkin.  Interesting, huh?  No Halloween for us this year but Vikas still had to do Pumpkin activities.

Then yesterday was a big function involving all of his father's family.  There is a tradition here where the sons have to take the father's ashes to his native place for a final ceremony.  It's a bitter-sweet tradition in my opinion.  Let me give you some background on Vikas's community.  First of all, in India there is not only caste and religious divisions, but within those categories there is also a very important section called your "community."  Your community is really what dictates the customs and traditions your family lives by.  You are not allowed to marry outside of your own community.  Vikas's community is "Shetty" or, more specifically "bunt."  The bunt community is matralineal by tradition.  That means that the property is passed down through the daughters of the family instead of the sons.  In a way, I think this is a very good tradition because it kind of insures that the women will never be tossed out onto the street.  The other side of it, though, is that when your husband dies, you have no rights what-so-ever to his home or belongings.  So, the ceremony yesterday was a combination of welcoming his father home for his final resting in the fields of the place where he and his family are from, and absolving the rest of the family from any rites to it.  The day was full of ceremonies between the sons and the father's nephews.  In the middle of the day there was a big lunch provided by the nephews on dad's side.  I think there were about 150 people there.  And it was very, very hot.  The family home is about 160 years old and way out in the country.  Obviously there was no air conditioning.  The houses have a really interesting design where all the common areas are outside in what is basically a huge covered porch.  Then there are interior rooms for sleeping and keeping personal things.   So, we were able to go up into one of the private rooms from time to time to get a little break from the outside heat, which was good.  The day ended with a dinner pretty late in the night, then a stop by my mother-in-law's family temple and her family house.

During the function there were a couple of things that the women had to do.  Before each meal the women had to each put a serving of the food that was prepared on a banana leaf as an offering to dad.  Then that was taken out to the field and left for the crows to eat.

Backing up several days, all of the sons had to shave their heads on the 5th day.  I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about seeing Vikas bald, but he actually looks really good.  The hair has grown out to a soft peach fuzz now and Jasmine loves to rub his head.  It will be interesting to see how long it takes to grow back in and if it comes in any differently from how it was before.

So, there's one last ceremony that will take place at my mother-in-law's native place on the 16th day (which happens to be my mother's birthday.)  After that things will go back to the normal routine.  In the mean time, I've gotten pretty good at cooking dal, upma, bajil, peera, beetroot and rice.  I think my repertoire will be expanding soon.  I'll keep you posted.

Aside from those activities, we spent a couple of days nursing Jasmine.  She came down with a high fever (102.7) that lasted for a couple of days.  She gets this fever every time we come to India.  We're still not sure what caused it but she better now.  I think it might just be brought on by the exhaustion from the long trip and the extreme change in climate and timing.  Anyway, I'm just assuming that it only makes her immune system stronger in the long run.

I think that's all for now.  I'll be posting again when I have time to write more.